How to be Present as a Stressed Working Homeschool Mom
It’s so easy to feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions as a working homeschool mom. You might feel like you want to be present but that it’s totally impossible.
I here you mama. Being present when there’s so much going on can be hard. I’ve been there. But I want to tell you that it’s also possible to be present. Let me show you how.
Be Present with Meditation and Mindfulness
One tried and tested way to be more present, is meditation and mindfulness. This applies to every human being, no matter what the circumstances of their life is. But I know from experience that is does loads for this working homeschool mom.
According to Headspace, these two activities are the first step to being more present. They help us learn to be comfortable with all our emotions – good and bad.
We stop trying to run from things by living on autopilot. And eventually with practice, we feel more comfortable moving on from challenging emotions.
Do One Thing at a Time
On a more practical level, only doing one thing at a time is a great way to be more present in what you’re doing. Multitasking may feel necessary at times but it doesn’t work, according to science.
When you give all your attention to one task, you will get it done faster and easier. As you get used to working like this, you’ll see that you can cut the time it takes to do things significantly.
Now as with any new habit, it might not be easy right away. Here’s my strategy for learning to monotask:
- get rid of distractions like your phone
- start slowly and really small
- don’t beat yourself up if you can’t get it right immediately
- practise until it feels natural.
Block Your Schedule
Block scheduling is a fantastic way to use your schedule to be more present. You can harness this structured but flexible way to manage your time better.
It’s easy to do. Simply allocate blocks of time to a certain task, such as work, emails, homeschooling etc. Then do as much as you can within the given period. The trick is to:
- be okay with letting some tasks loop so that you can do them the next day or another time
- figure out how long it actually takes you to do something so that you set realistic blocks of time
- tweak and test regularly as things change in your life.
As you get more in tune with yourself, you’ll figure out how much time you can concentrate on something. It might also depend on the type of task and how much brainpower or energy it needs. You can play around until you find the right combination of time and task.
Be Present by Setting Boundaries
If you know me, you know that there’s always some mindset work involved. And being present in your life is no exception.
You might have figured out everything to do with scheduling your time to be more present. But I can bet you don’t live in a cave and that there are people who want to make claims on your time and energy.
Setting boundaries is a must if you want to have complete control over how you spend your time and energy. I often get asked about how to actually do this, so let me break it down.
Setting Boundaries with Your Kids
Let me start with one of the toughest boundaries to set – the one with your kids. Mom guilt can so easily come into play when we’re ‘taking time away’ from our kids. But if you’re a working homeschool mom, you’re probably going to really need to set these boundaries.
Here are some tips to make it a bit easier:
- Start setting small boundaries when they’re small. It means that they’ll grow up feeling like boundaries are normal and okay.
- When you’re with them, be really present. This will help them to feel like you have time and attention for them. And when you need to work or do something else, they won’t feel deprived.
- Allow them to set their own boundaries. And be sure to respect them.
- Be clear about the boundaries so that your kids know exactly what is expected of them. Lay them out in detail and stick to them.
Setting Boundaries with Other People
Setting boundaries with other people is also not super easy. For example, family relationships can come with a lot of baggage that make it hard to say no.
But if you want people to respect you and your time, you need to learn to say no without feeling bad or like you’re being a horrible person. Here’s how:
- Be really clear about what’s really important to you. Then you can be decisive when someone wants to ask you for something and it’s not aligned.
- In the same way, you need to be super clear about what your boundary is and what it looks like when it’s be crossed. Once again, it will make it easier to let someone know that they’re overstepping.
- Don’t go back on a boundary if you’re really serious about it. People won’t believe that it’s real and will be overstepping it very soon.
Final Thoughts on How to Be Present
Being present is the best way to enjoy your life. It means that you are fully engaged in everything you do and that you can be clear about what brings you joy.
It will also help you to find areas that need to change. And give you the space to do so. None of this is possible when you’re hurtling through your life at breakneck speed.
But as I said above, it might not be easy right away. It’s going to take commitment and practice from your side. And maybe also facing some difficult or uncomfortable feelings.
I promise you that it will be worth the effort. You’ll be able to craft a life that lights you up. And to fully experinece and appreciate every moment in it.